Category: Cheap Phone Sex

Sex Toy Phone Sex with Vinny: Garden Gnome Gangbang

I’m at the beach all week, which I love because I can show off my hot body. Most coeds don’t even have a rock hard body like mine. Getting cock with tits and a body like mine is not hard. Well, so I thought. Today has not been my day to score dick. I don’t handle rejection well so I decided it would be a day about  me. Sunning my hot body and reading.  I had my Kindle with me so I searched for books under the erotica section. If I couldn’t get laid, well, I could read about it. In the suggested reading list, something caught my eye, “Garden Gnome Gang Bang.”  The tagline read:  “When Vinny decides to add a little whimsical flavor to her backyard with a trio of garden gnomes, she never suspects what’s in store. When the sun goes down, Vinny discovers her new lawn ornaments are ready to get busy, and they know how to use those pointy red hats to please a woman!” Well, that literally screamed my name. Now, mind you, I suffer from a rare disorder called gnomaphobia. Yes, you guessed correctly, it is the irrational fear of garden gnomes. I think they are creepy little soul stealing mother fuckers. But this book being suggested, sounded like a sign that I needed to put on my big girl panties and get over this silly fear. So I downloaded the book.

I’m there on the beach, reading garden gnome porn, thinking to myself, perhaps I have been looking at them all wrong. Perhaps they are not instruments of evil, but instruments of pleasure. I sat there and read the entire book in a couple hours. I was actually horny as fuck afterwards too. My pussy was dripping wet from gnome erotica. Sooo embarrassing to admit. I went back to my motel room and masturbated; but I could not get the image of fucking those gnomes with those pointy hats outta my head. So, I put a cover up on, marched down to Walgreens, and bought a trio of garden gnomes and a box of condoms. The lady behind the counter gave me a weird look. Like what the hell is a middle aged woman in beach wear doing buying 3 gnomes and condoms. I felt like a pervert, but I wanted to try this out, but thought somehow condoms over those pointy  hats might be more sanitary? Not sure what I was worried about, when I was younger, I crammed all sorts of things in my cunt. I’d fuck anything I was so horny. Guess nothing has changed as I was about to turn a garden gnome into a sex toy.

I’m back in my motel bed, naked on the bed. Decide to ease myself into this. I start to rub my clit while they watch. I get lost for a moment, start cumming hard, then I just grab one of them and start slowly working that pointy hat into my pussy. I have had many massive black cocks, certainly I could take a garden gnome. I had it inserted pretty good and was sliding up and down it and it felt good.  I guess I got so lost in my head fucking that garden gnome I failed to hear housekeeping come in. I look up an a maid is looking at me in horror. Shear horror. Like I was some circus freak or something. I tried to get up real fast, fell off the bed, landed in the crotch of another gnome. She ran out and I chased her, naked, down the long stretch of the motel yelling “I’m not a freak, I’m just horny.”  Well, I guess some folks heard me, came out to see what was going on. Decided to slink back to my room in shame.

Just a few minutes later, there was a knock on my door, there was a black god in his swim trunks. He looked at me and said I hear you are horny. He asked if big black cock did it for me and said he could  wear a red pointy hat if it helped? I guess the maid shared my secret. We had a good laugh and of course I invited him to fuck me. That gnome wasn’t bad, but a red pointy hat ain’t got nothing on a huge black cock. Finally, I got my cock. Sometimes you just have to fuck a few gnomes along the way first.

Dance the night away

 

Tonight is the night that I let my alter ego out.
She likes to dress slutty, wear a shit ton of make up, no panties and loves her heels!
Tonight she is just as sexy as ever!
Her goal is to get into the the red room where all the VIPs go. 
She is ready, once last glance in the rear view mirror to check her lip stick and she is out of the taxi. 
 
She walks up to the door, past the long line of waiting people up to the bouncer. She is confident and blows him a kiss as he lets her walk right in. 
She goes strait to the bar and orders her favorite drink. As she parts her red lips and lets the Cristal run down her throat she notices a man watching her from the other side of the room. 
That is her victim tonight. 
He is her ticket up to that red room where is willing to do anything. 
She starts to eye fuck him while sitting on the bar stool, she crosses and uncrosses her legs so he can see that she has no panties on. 
As she is fucking him with her eyes this slob of a little man walks up to her and starts hitting on her. 
 
He grabbed her thigh and said “Baby my dick may be small but I will lick you clean.”
She giggles as she takes another long drink from her Cristal then replies. ” Some days you just want some dick and today is one of those days that I’d rather have all dick than a tongue.”
As she was insulting him she never took her eyes off that man across the room. She watched him walk slowly over to her. He leaned in and kissed her with a kiss that made her pussy dripping wet. “Hey baby, Sorry it took me so long to find you.. You ready to go upstairs?”
With that she smiled, finished her drink and left the slob standing there dick in hand. 
 
As they walked up the stairs the man was grabbing and rubbing her ass. They made it to the door of the red room, where he stopped. 
“You know what goes on in here?”
She smiled for a reply
“Ok baby, lets see if you can handle this room..
 
Once inside she was pushed against the wall as the man started rubbing his hands up and down the inside of her thighs.. 
She smiled her wicked smile and asked him “Do you think you can keep up?”
 
 
Find out more next time.. 
xoxo 
Cody 

BBW Phone Sex: A Sexy Encounter with an Ex

I had a job interview today for The Tilted Kilt, a chain bar like Hooters; they are looking for hostesses. I figured this would be some nice extra cash and another way to meet hot eligible bachelors. I put on a cute but upscale slutty outfit and head downtown. When I got there, I was greeted by a girl I went to college with. It is such a small world. Her husband is the manager of the local Tilted Kilt. She said he does all the hiring but she  helps with the application process. She is a buxom, curvy gal like myself. I always thought she was hot. In fact I had a girl crush on her in college.

After we caught up a bit and I filled out the application and answered a few questions, she signaled her husband to come out to finish the interview process. My jaw just about fell open when I realized she was married to one of my ex boyfriends. Big Jim I called him. Not the brightest bulb around, but one of the biggest. It was hard to imagine him settling down; monogamy was never his strong suit. He was a player. I guess Rebecca was able to tame that beast. I did worry, however, that my application would not be considered now. Big Jim and I did not part on good terms. When I caught him cheating with my then BFF, I sorta pulled a Carrie Underwood on him and took a Louisville slugger to both headlights. In fact I think there is a warrant out for my arrest still for destroying his new BMW.

When he came out, I thought it would be awkward, horrible, maybe even violent. But it wasn’t. Big Jim recognized me of course. We had dated for almost a year. But, he apologized. Said he was a changed man. Rebecca had tamed him. I looked at her and said “impressive, he is a hard beast to tame.” I asked her secret. She undid her blouse and revealed even bigger titties than mine! Then she grabbed me and kissed me long and hard. I was a bit shocked. I mean I had a crush on her in college, but here she was married to my ex boyfriend who potentially could be my new boss. But my pussy was dripping. I looked at Big Jim and he had his cock out and was stroking it.

Rebecca went over and locked the door, came back and said” I keep him faithful by letting him watch me with the beautiful girls he can’t have.”  I was in shock. I mean technically he had me, but didn’t want to keep me, and now he had my girl crush and what she was suggesting was so hot to me. She started undressing me. She had me sit on the pool table naked. She then took the pool stick and teased my whole body; she used it under my boobs, to caress my body , then she fucked my pussy with the first 10 or so inches of that pool stick while her hubby, my ex jacked his huge cock. I came so hard too that I squirted on the pool table.

I had to return the favor. I undressed her. I laid her down on the table and  licked every inch of her. She has a plump juicy cunt. Smooth, tasty and very wet. I made her cum on my face, but I was not satisfied with just making cum once. I grabbed a pool ball and pressed it on her clit and rubbed it around while I sucked on her tit until she cam hard again. I did that with all the pool balls. That’s 12 orgasms, well 13 if you count the cue ball. I looked at Big Jim with every cum I gave his hot horny wife.  He shot like 4 loads. We all came a lot.

I am not sure if I got the job or not, but I did get to satisfy an old crush, make up of sorts with an ex I was wasting energy on loathing still, find out I am not gonna ever be arrested for destroying a car and cum several times. Sometimes running in to an ex can be a pleasant surprise.

Voyeur Phone Sex with Sheila: A Hot New Hobby

It’s no secret I’m a slut wife who fucks when she can. My husband even knows it and encourages it. In fact he arranged the rendezvous with Matt today at a nearby no tell motel. Matt is a young, fit business executive my hubby works with who expressed an interest in me at the Memorial Day picnic. So, I met Matt at the hotel and  we had a great time. He has a large cock and that boy can fuck! I spent hours just sucking him off. I love blowing men. Especially men with big balls full of jizz that they can shoot all over my face. I had a great afternoon fuck and headed home.

On the way home, I got some texts from a number I did not recognize. They were kinda stalkeresque like “I am watching you,” “does your husband know you are a whore” and one that just said, “you look good on your knees.” At first I thought has to be a wrong number. Then the pics of me sucking Matt’s cock came through. Someone had been watching me suck and fuck in that motel room, but who. Did I have a stalker or a voyeur? Was my husband punking me? He knew about my afternoon tryst.  The pics looked like whomever took them was in the room right behind Matt or there was a hidden camera on ceiling. But is that creepy or hot?

I called Matt and asked if he had any weird texts since we left the motel and he assured me no. So it was just me. I tried not to think about it anymore and then I got a call. The voice said, “I jacked off watching you take that load in the face.” I asked if this was some sort of sick joke and said I was getting scared. The unknown man insisted he meant me no harm. Said he has been watching me in action for some time. I asked what he meant and he said I was one hot piece of ass who knew her way around a cock. Well this is true, but why not just tell me who this is, I asked. He explained that watching me take cock in all my holes, wear cum on my face and get fucked is so hot. I am better than watching porn, he said. Wow, kinda a nice compliment.

I was like, wouldn’t you like to meet me? Maybe hook up if you think I am that hot? I was intrigued and aroused now. But he said watching was part of the excitement. He said he gets off just watching me. Apparently, he has been watching me for months. And beating his cock as he watches, but this was first time he ever made contact with me.  I said, so I have a voyeur not a stalker. He told me I should try it. In fact he insisted I go spy on my neighbors tonight so I could see how hot it is to watch other people fuck. At first I thought he was crazy, but he was turning me on so, what the hell. I’ll try anything once.

I sneaked out of the house late and peered through the bedroom window of this hot couple down the block. I was a peeping tom, but my pussy was getting wet at the thought. At first nothing, but then  the wife came in the bedroom. She was naked and damn she had a fine body. No hubby in sight. She laid in the bed and I thought oh well, nothing going to happen, when she leaned over to the night stand and opened the drawer. She pulled out some lube and the biggest black dildo I have ever seen. I knew what she was thinking about. I was thinking no way she could take all that, but sure enough she did. It was so hot watching her take it in cunt. I could see her pretty pink pussy lips spreading open, and her honey covering that dildo. I slipped my hands in my panties and rubbed my clit until I came with her. My voyeur was right! It is hot to watch someone else while you masturbate. It’s like having your own private porn show. I am going out to get a telescope and some binoculars tomorrow. I think I just found a new hobby.

Do you like to watch? I bet you would find it as hot as I did secretly watching someone have sex or masturbate while you get off. Who would you like to see? Mommy? Auntie? Hot couple next door? Maybe a sibling? I bet we could have a lot of fun watching together!

Titty Fucking Phone Sex with BBW Glenda: Cum on My Tits

So my friend has this cute foreign guy staying with her for a month. He barely speaks English, but she said she walked in on him by accident in the bathroom the other morning and it appeared he was pretty hung for a short guy. Well of course I have been obsessing over it since she told me, so I decided to come by for breakfast. I do like some big cock. He was sitting on the couch reading a newspaper. I was wearing a slutty but hot outfit to show off my huge tits and catch his attention. He seemed impervious to my boobs. A one eyed old monkey with cataracts notices my tits. WTF? Well I yanked that newspaper right outta his hand and thrust my tits in his face, then pulled my top down so they were dangling in his face. I then motor boated him until I saw the bulge in his pants. Oh my, my friend might be on to something. While still buried in my plump big natural breasts, I unzipped his pants and out popped a pleasant surprise. He did have a nice cock. At this point he was working with me. He didn’t understand the words that were coming out of my mouth, but he understood my actions. Actions do speak louder than words.

Before long my mouth was devouring his thick shaft and I needed both hands to hold onto that  thing. I was bobbing up and down his member  and playing with my juicy twat at the same time. I was so wet too. He started guiding his cock to my tits. I knew what that meant. He wanted titty fucked. He needed my boobs. Well I do have the perfect titties for fucking! I grabbed a boob in each hand, wrapped them around his cock and sucked him  using my tits to help! His cock didn’t even get lost in my natural 40 EEs. Didn’t take long before his balls got tight and a load shot all over my boobs and face. Big load too. Yummy load. Gosh I love being covered in cum. I am a cum slut jizz junkie at heart. That was the protein shake I needed this morning. The language of fucking is universal.

Hot Phone Sex with Vinny: I Love Anal

I am of mature age, this is true. But I think I look damn fine for being in my 40s. Don’t you? Look at that ass of mine. You could bounce a quarter off it. And don’t get me started on my legs. They are fine too. Today, a younger guy I was hitting on tried to tell me I was too old for him. I have not met a guy yet I was too old for. So, I decided to have a little revenge. I took a bunch of naked selfies and Facebook messaged them to him with the declaration, “Nothing old about this ass.” Well, of course he was all apologetic and begging for the chance to hang with me. He asked me why I didn’t show my body off more. I explained I was at the pet store to pick up food for my pups; never thought I’d be on the prowl there, so didn’t occur to me to wear one of my more revealing outfits. I really don’t need attention; I just enjoy it. He asked to meet for drinks; asked if I was in to anal because I had an ass worthy of tapping all night long.  I told him he was gonna be in for a treat because I consider myself an anal queen. I like it big, thick and rough up my backdoor. I got him all worked up discussing how he could fuck my ass bare back; shoot cum in my ass; fist my ass and pussy; cum on my face; essentially do whatever he wanted to. We agreed to meet at 11 PM at a local bar for drinks first.

I then blocked him and never showed up. I made a date with a well hung stud who knows I ain’t too old for his college age cock. No one insults me and gets away with it. There is never a shortage of well hung men who want to fuck my ass hard. Can you blame them?

Small Dick Humiliation Phone Sex with Brooklyn

Often times in life we have to do things we don’t like. Well, I don’t like little dicks. But, I do like my husband. I mean I don’t like his pecker but I love his wallet. I need to sometimes do things for him to keep him happy. A happy hubby equals a happy Brooklyn.  We were talking about this asshole guy, Joe, at the Porsche dealer in town who will not agree to the price my husband wants for one. I thought, hmmm, perfect chance to impress him. I knew I could talk to this car salesman and get him to agree to the price the hubby is willing to pay. I told him I would take care of it tomorrow. He actually doubted me. Thought I was outta my league and there is no way this shyster would go down on the price. Well this guy has never met me. Joe was about to meet his match.

I walked right into that dealership in the hottest outfit I could find and asked to talk to the man in control.  Joe was a big Guido type of guy;  thinks he could sell ice to an Eskimo. I told him my hubby was in yesterday and wanted to purchase a 911 Turbo and that the price was just not right. When he tried to bullshit me with cant go any lower, it’s a steal at that price bull shit, I asked to go in his office. I was about to fuck a greasy fat car salesman to impress my hubby.  I started taking my clothes off  and told him, fuck my husband, I wanted him. I was so impressed with his unwavering on the car price I had to have him. He fell for that bullshit too. Delusional poor thing.  Well when he took his pants off, he had a ridiculously small dick; smaller than my husband. No wonder they both like Porsche cars! Well I fucked that dude silly. Even let him fuck my ass and cum on my face with his pinky dick. It just about killed me.  He couldn’t even lick a pussy properly. I should have won an Oscar for my fucking performance. I was screaming like a porn star with a monster cock up her ass. When it was finally over, I told him my husband would be in tomorrow and he would give him the price he offered for the car. And that if he didn’t, not only would his wife get the video footage from my phone of us fucking, but I’d make it viral so everyone knew what a little worthless clit stick he was sporting. Funny, he dropped the price even further!

I went home, showed my hubby the agreement for the new price I had secured for his mid life crisis toy and he was beyond impressed. He couldn’t believe that not only did I get him the Porsche, but I got it for even less than he was willing to pay. He asked me how I did it and I just said, “Honey, don’t ever  underestimate the power of persuasion with a beautiful woman.” He didn’t have to know I deviled my body with a small weenie just so he could have his dream car. But right now, I can have whatever and whomever I want because I am his idol; I did what he couldn’t do. Men and their silly sports cars. My husband might as well scream to the world, “Hey, I got money, but I also got a small dick.” But the sweet thing is, those guys with big dicks know a car like this one is overcompensation for a small dick, which means they know I need what they got.  It sometimes pays to impress your hubby….

Hot Phonesex with Brooklyn: Getting Backstage to Motley Crue

I am a total size queen so it is no surprise I’d love Motley Crue. I saw the infamous  sex tape; Tommy Lee’s cock was so big it could steer the boat. How many guys can steer a boat with their cocks? Not many. When I heard they were coming to town, I made sure to try to get tickets. I am the perfect rock groupie. Hot, sexy, know how to fuck, and totally down with being used by big cocks. Well my fucking Internet went out and when it came back on, all tickets were sold out. I couldn’t even find tixs on Stub Hub. So, I thought, if Tommy Lee just saw how hot I was, he’d make sure I got back stage and didn’t miss the final tour.  One of my tiny dick losers is a professional photographer. He’d do anything to get a glimpse of me naked. I got him to take a bunch of sexy pics of me with guitars.  What well hung rock star could resist a hot babe with a guitar? I know I am cocky, but look at me?

I went downtown to the arena they would be playing at and charmed my way into the promotions office. So I had to gang bang a few lowly clerical type guys whose cocks combined were not as big as Tommy Lee’s. I had to let 5 little losers fuck my cunt, my ass and jizz all over my face for any information. It was worth the humiliation however, to get the address and cell number of Motley Crue’s road manager. Once I had that the tough part was over; I sent  the pics to him with a plea to please find a way to get me into the concert. I waited patiently for a few days and then it happened. I got the call. Not from the  manger like I expected, but from Tommy Lee himself. He told me what a hot piece of ass I was and that he’d be honored to have me back stage. Just one little catch, I had to be open to ANYTHING.  Well duh. I told him I let 5 snot nosed pencil pushers do whatever they wanted to me just for the chance to attend  a sold out Crue show, so of course I would be the band’s groupie bitch. It would be an honor to suck, fuck, and be degraded by rock legends.

With a little perseverance and a hot body, it’s amazing what can be achieved. I can’t wait till October. I am the perfect woman  to be a groupie to a bunch of well hung rock gods.

Exhibitionist Phone Sex with Cassandra:

  I have a daily gym routine. This body doesn’t stay slamming all on its own.  I usually just shower at the gym, then go meet my friends for happy hour.  Thursday was no different. Except for the fact that some stupid bitch stole my clothes in the locker room. And not only did she steal my clothes, but she took my keys and my cell phone. I had no way of getting someone to bring me clothes. And all the stuck up bitches in the locker room would not help me out. Guess they are jealous of my hot body. I thought for a moment of what I should do. Well, I was not sucking up to some uptight jealous soccer mom, that was for sure. So, I decided I would  try to get to the bar where my friends were meeting me. I mean, so public nudity is technically illegal; I do have a rocking body.  I stole a dirty towel out of the hamper, which barely covered me and dashed out the locker room, through the gym, and out the door. I only had a few blocks to go and one of my BFFs would take me home for more suitable clothing.

I start sprinting down the side walk, my big tits bouncing. I could hear people yelling sexual comments and staring at me. Suddenly, some little boy yanked my towel off as I sprinted by him. I sure did not see that one coming. Before I could stop and grab it back, he was in the car with his older brother getting high fived. I was now totally naked in downtown Louisville.  At happy hour during Thursday Night Live, which meant thousands of folks on Main St. My pals were meeting me at the Hard Rock Cafe which was still another 4 blocks. I sucked it up again and started jogging. This time, I kept my head held high and went a little slower, trying to embrace my shame. I saw fingers pointing, mouths gaping open, cell phones snapping pictures, and parents covering their offspring’s eyes.  But I had no choice.  I am comfortable in my skin, really. I know my body is hot and I do not feel  there is anything wrong with nudity. However, I heard someone yell  “Put some clothes on bitch before I call the cops.” Of course it was some  stupid cunt.

I’m not only hot, but smart. I ducked into a little candy store. Did my best damsel in distress  for the guy behind the counter. When that didn’t work, I sucked his cock and let him fuck me in the ass. Let this loser bend me over the counter and fuck my ass to help me. It was 60 seconds of  torture for me lol. I’m too hot for little pricks. Desperate times call for desperate measures. In exchange for my mercy fuck, he  gave me a bunch of candy. What the fuck? I need clothes or a phone, not candy. But, I’m resourceful. I  took the candy out of all the pretty pink cellophane wrapping and made a makeshift outfit. A pretty tiny one, but I was no longer butt naked. Now those stuck up bitches could shut the fuck up and let me get across downtown to meet my besties for a much needed cocktail. I may not have had much on, but I rocked my pink cellophane outfit. In fact, folks thought I was a rock star or something when I arrived at the Hard Rock Cafe. They were asking for my autograph and taking pics. And me and my friends drank for free that night. Or maybe they were just fans who caught my naked sprint down Main Street!

 

Mutual Masturbation Phone Sex with BBW Glenda: Makeshift Dildos

Today I was out by my pool and got really horny. I went to my bedroom to get a vibrator . I was all set to play with my pussy all day long as I worked on my tan. And dangit, the fucking batteries were dead. I got a little frustrated and threw my pink friend over the fence. My neighbors will have a nice surprise. Hopefully their fur friend doesn’t find it first and drop it on the porch! My fingers were just  not gonna do the trick today. I was turbo charged sexually. I suddenly channeled my inner Martha Stewart, which is rare. I am hardly the crafty type. I started opening drawers and cabinets to see what I could find to fuck myself with today. I didn’t even have any garden veggies in the house. But, I did have play dough, a roll of paper towels, crazy glue and some plastic little Easter eggs left over from Easter. Fuck Martha Stewart, I was about to be MacGyver.

I stared intently at the items on my kitchen counter as I rubbed my clit. The need for something inside my pussy  made me creative. I undid the Easter eggs, glued one half on each paper towel ring on both ends. I then rolled the play dough onto the paper towel rings and over the plastic egg covers. I spent some time perfecting the shape until it had a cylinder shape around the middle and a penis like head. I then baked it in the oven for 30 minutes until the play dough hardened and glistened. I let it sit for another 30 minutes to cool down and then I examined it. It was hard and round and the perfect shape. I got up on my kitchen counter and slowly inserted it into my pussy. OMG. It was still a bit warm, but it was long and thick and felt awesome in my cunt. I fucked that pretty purple homemade dildo for an hour before I squirted everywhere and decided I wanted more.  I had tons of play dough left over from a birthday party, so I decided to make several more handmade fuck toys. By the time I was done, I had a rainbow of homemade dildos.

It really is amazing how creative one can get when without a cock or batteries. You know, I may never use a vibrator again. My play dough dildos feel awesome and they are good for the environment.  In  fact, I am gonna call up some of my girlfriends and have them come over and take them for a test drive.  Trust me, if you wanna jack off I can help you. Hell, we can rub one out together and get creative with what we use to pleasures ourselves. Wait, that makes me the MacGyver of Mutual Masturbation phone sex!