Mercedes's Phone Sex Blog

Sloppy Wet and High As Hell

If partying were and Olympic sport I would get the gold, silver and bronze metals each and every time there was a competition. There is no drug or drink I won’t do. If it gives me a buzz, alters my senses and takes all my inhibitions away, I am game. I live for fun and don’t give a damned about sensibility or responsibility. Girls just want to have fun, or at least this girl just wants to have fun. I find that the higher I get the less I worry about what is proper or acceptable to everyone else and the more I focus on what makes me happy. And what makes me happy is being high, horny and stuffed full of cock and cum. What else is there in life but to be free and easy? Life is one big fuckfest, a party to be celebrated and enjoyed 24/7. Live it up, party like a rock star and fuck till you can’t fuck any more…you only live once, don’t waste one minute!

Sweet Juicy Berries

My girlfriend and I have had our eyes on a couple of new guys in the neighborhood. Fresh meat is always a challenge and we like to do things our own way. They just finished unloading the moving truck a few days ago so we thought we would go over and introduce ourselves. When they opened the door it was obvious that they hadn’t gotten far in the unpacking department. Being horny little neighbors we offered to cook dinner for them and bring it over. They offered to provide the drinks and accepted our offer. What guy turns down a home cooked meal? We started shopping and planning as soon as we told them we would see them latter. Dinner was going to be good but dessert was going to be better. Strawberry short cake with whipped cream and we are going to be the short cake. Needless to say our pussies stayed wet the whole time we were cooking. We kept going over the plans so we knew just what we were going to do. We made a huge pan of lasagna and a salad and packed up our strawberries and whipped cream. As soon as dinner was over we told our new friends we had a treat for them. Taking out the strawberries the first thing we did was put one between our lips, sharing it without using our hands, berry juice dripping down our chins that we had to lick off each other. Then we blind folded the guys and got undressed. I laid down first and let her cover me with whipped cream and strawberries. When we told them to take off the blind folds she was eating the strawberries off me and licking whipped cream off my body, inviting them to join in. Once I was clean I laid her down and they helped me cover her and we licked her clean. It wasn’t long before we were all naked and fucking, whipped cream and strawberries every where….it was a long dinner and an even longer dessert. BonAppetit!


 

The Perfect Night

My idea of the perfect night is lots of drugs, lots of sex, and lots of kinky fetishes. I don’t care if I am enjoying the company of men or women as long as sex is involved I want it all. I don’t care if we are drinking, popping pills, snorting or shooting, take me to another dimension and fly away with me. And as for fetishes, I have tried all sorts of things; latex, dolls, anal, animal, bondage, s&m, golden showers, and so much more. And I love it all.

Bondage Bliss

We used to have some kinky and wild fucking times together. He partied hard and fucked harder. When I heard he was cumming home for a visit my pussy instantly became a flowing river of juice thinking about the good times we would have! He has been over seas with the military for eight years now and he let me know in no uncertain terms he was horny as hell and ready to cut the fuck loose! What I didn’t know was that all the fucked up shit he has seen and done in the last eight years took his kinky fetishes to a whole new level One of his buddies came back with him and when he asked if his buddy could join us, he already knew I would say yes. He knows I am a wild ass bitch that believes, the more the merrier when it comes to fucking and partying! When we pulled up to the abandoned warehouse I didn’t think anything of it at all. We have partied and fucked in secluded places like this a million times and it is always a rad good time. It didn’t take long for things to get real fucking interesting. His buddy pulled out a camera for recording and the toys came out. They really wanted to get into some serious bondage and lots of grudge fucking. I am not sure where the role play started and the just plain fucked up memories ended but it was hot as fucking hell. I hope we get to do this shit again before they leave!

 

The Price You Pay When You’re Married

hot phonesex mercedesI saw him standing across the crowded bar. I watched as he was staring at me, undressing me with his eyes. I ran my hand across my tits making my nipples hard and licking my lips. My pussy getting wet as I watched the hunger grow in his eyes. It didn’t take him long to walk over to me and start a conversation. We drank and danced and had a great time all night. I knew he would want to go home with me and I was ready to fuck his brains out. Imagine my surprise when he told me he was married. Well I wasn’t going to make this easy for him so I issued a challenge. I told him if he really wanted to fuck me he would have to prove it. He was not ready for what I had in mind I promise you that! The look on his face was fucking priceless when I told him that if he wanted to fuck me he would have to get his balls pierced. I knew right where we could go and it was close. How was he going to explain this to his wife? I didn’t give a shit if he wanted ass that is what it would take. i can’t believe he did it! I fucked his ass all night long and made sure it was well worth his while!

Fist Fucking Fun

There are always lots of family and friends around during the holidays. we party hard and fuck harder. Dear old Uncle Willie is one of my favorites. My pussy always gets wet when I hear his voice because I know before he leaves he is going to get every female in the house, young and old and see how much he can stuff in their pussy and ass. He is obsessed with fist fucking and loves to see how much more we can take then we did at the last family gathering. I always use my big dildo, “Big Ben” (named after one of my favorite fuck friends) to make sure my pussy is ready for him when I know he is cumming over. I love when he pushes his hand deeper into my cunt stretching my pussy to the max. He always hits the pussy first and the ass next going from one of us to the next like a fist fucking train. He lets us each know how we did and if we have improved and then gives us instructions on what we can stick up our holes to be ready for his next visit. he is truly a hoot and a lot of fun to play with!

We Named Ours “Dick”

Everyone is getting the damned Elf on a Shelf and of course the little ones in the family wanted one too. They wanted me to go get the damned thing. They bugged me and bugged me until I gave in and went and got the thing. I decided right then that I was going to name him Dick. I have had more fun with this lame ass elf on the shelf. I would love to be a fly on the wall at their school when they share what our elf is doing. They woke up to Dick jerking off to porn the first day. The look on their faces was priceless. After they went to school I watched porn with Dick and masturbated too. The next day they caught him drinking a bottle of wine, the drunk bastard. After they went to school of course I had to help Dick finish the bottle. My mind was racing and the ideas kept coming. I was actually getting off on this shit. The next day they woke up to Dick snorting coke….oh my fucking goodness this shit is fun! After they left for school I helped Dick finish up the coke. Today they got up and Dick was in the fruit bowl pretending his cock was a huge banana. After they left for school I fucked myself with that fucking banana. I cant wait to see what tomorrow brings! Who knew Dick could be so much fun?

Drive By Fucking

 

This is going to be a great game. My pussy is so fucking wet already. You know we have to be a bunch of drinking partying mother fuckers to come up with shit like this. We are going to tie a bitch to the front of the van, then we are going to take turns fucking her. We have this super cool double headed dildo for the chicks to use and of course the guys have their own cocks to use. I can’t fucking wait for my shot at using the double headed dildo on the first girl. But I really can’t wait for it to be my turn to get tied to the van and have a nice big train roll in and out of my ass and pussy. We are already getting drunk enough that I have heard a couple people suggest fucking while someone drives the van around the field we are partying in. I am not sure how that will work out or if we can pull it off, but hey this crazy ass bunch will try anything. Let’s hope this one doesn’t land us in the emergency room, of course it wouldn’t be the first time.

Squeaky Clean

So we are all sitting around partying and having a great time. People are starting to take their clothes off and letting our freak flags fly. The night is young and the fun is just beginning with hot wet pussy and hard ass dicks. It isn’t unusual during our parties fort he chicks to end up together with a guy in the middle of them. The guys we hang with love being sandwiched in between two chicks. I have been double teamed by two guys before, interested in fucking the shit out of me. But I have often wondered what it would be to be on the reverse of two chicks into each other with a guy in the middle and make it two guys into each other with me in the middle. Little did I know that tonight was going to be my lucky night. I just so happened to have to go to the bathroom and the one in the hall was in use by several people at one time. So I slid off to the other bathroom in the bed room and there they were in the tub, kissing cousins getting squeaky clean together. They paid me no attention and continued making out while I took a piss, but when I was done I made sure they acknowledged my presence. I took off my clothes and stuck my head in between them licking their throbbing dicks that were touching while they were making out. It was the hottest fucking thing I have ever done. We didn’t re join the party for some time and promised to keep our little threesome a secret for now.

Crazy Things We See

Being a phone sex operator is an adventure every day. Besides all the interesting fantasies we get to share with all of you awesome men out there. Besides cumming all day every day together. Besides going out and getting wild and crazy just for the fun of it. We see some crazy ass shit thanks to some crazy ass bitches. We all know that chicks love to stuff their cunts with anything that could make them cum in new and unusual ways. So today I thought I would get high as fucking hell and share some of the crazy and funny as hell shit chicks do with you. Of course I couldn’t help but create little captions and thoughts to go with each one. Feel free to share your captions in my comments if you think of one. So let’s have a blast with this one, I promise you will get a laugh or two today! Are you ready?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the inside of course!

Have you ever had cell phone reception issues. Wonder why suddenly you loose signal and the call drops? Here is the reason why….

Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? That is one way to have phone sex….just saying!

Do you love sea food? Have you been searching for a seafood market where you can get the freshest fish available?

Smells like fish but taste like chicken…..so they say!

And finally my favorite. Where was this when Hall and Oates were producing records? This one is made specially for them, or so I think….

“OOOO hear she cums….she’s a man eater!”

Have a great day my friends, get high, have a drink and above all have a good laugh and a hard cum!

Fuckaliciously Yours,

Mercedes

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