Tag: Cheap Phone Sex

My Future Looks Bright with Big Cock

So I was bored today and went shopping and had lunch with one of my girlfriends. She is an earthy spiritual type and begged me to go to a palm reader with her. I was skeptical. Seems like a waste of time and money. The time I spend with some old gypsy, I could be fucking or sucking. But sometimes we make sacrifices for our best friends.  We went to this little shop that sells crystals and shit. Paid $50 each for our fortune of sorts.  She went first. Was in there for 30 minutes or so and when she came back she was ecstatic. She was babbling about how the gypsy said good things were in her future and big changes on the horizon. Pretty much non descriptive dribble as far as I was concerned.  But, I bit the bullet and took my turn. She was looking at my hand, reading the lines. Her eyes got really big and she looked at me and said, “You are a naughty woman.” I gulped a bit and thought, hmmm what is she seeing? She then said all she could see in my future was big huge cock, sex and bodily fluids. Sounds about right. Like monster cock; the kind of dicks one only sees in porn. She added with a smirk on her face, “I’m jealous.”  I asked her what the biggest dick she ever had was and she replied, “I’ve only ever had my husband’s cock and it’s about 4 inches.” I tried to stifle my laughter, but I told her,” that’s not a dick honey. Well not a dick on a grown man.” I told her I wish I could share my future with her because there is no other better feeling than having a big dick crammed in your love holes, stretching you out and making you beg.  I felt sorry for her; I really did. I mean I wouldn’t wish a pencil dick or a clit stick on my worst enemy. Women deserve sexual pleasure, even the ugly, old and fat ones. Women are superior. Pure and simple. And that alone is reason to suggest we all deserve the biggest thickest piece of meet we can get in our pussies.

I left that shop feeling sad that some women do not understand their worth; do not understand that they too deserve big cock to worship. But, I always feel very grateful that I know what a wicked hot piece of ass I am and that my future is paved with the big thick cocks I deserve. I just wish you pathetic little dick losers would get the clue and stop trying to tell me you got what I need. When I need a good laugh I will call you; when I need a hard throbbing big cock, well, I will call a real man.

A Cock So Big it Ruined My Pussy

I’m a total size queen. I will not have anything to do with you unless you have porn star worthy cock. No, that’s not exactly accurate. If you have a small package I will humiliate you, use you as my personal fluffer boy and make you clean out my cream pies. And, I will make you watch the REAL men fuck me. I had a new stud fuck me this week, who I call BIG BIG Ben. The hugest cock I have ever had. Bigger than John Holmes or Sean Michaels. Hell, bigger than a circus animal!  In fact, my pussy may be ruined for anything smaller. BIG BIG Ben fucked me so good my neighbor came to check on me because she was worried hearing all the screaming I did. He fucked my pussy raw. I had to soak in the bath tub for hours and sit on a frozen bag of peas all night. But, you know what? I can’t wait for BIG BIG Ben to fuck me again. My pussy belongs to him. And I would love nothing more than you little limp dick losers to watch what a real dick can do for a woman. Once you see how hard I come on his huge cock, you little cuckolds will understand what a real woman needs, what a real woman deserves. If I’m lucky enough to get impaled by BIG BIG Ben’s huge throbbing shaft again, you pathetic fucks will be begging to clean up my cream pie. But I need to warn you losers, when he cums, it’s a volcanic load that could drown a little bitch like you. As always, the size of your cock determines how we play. If you have a massive hammer of a cock like BIG BIG Ben, then I am your bitch, your slave! If you have a little clit stick, well then you are my BITCH and will do whatever humiliating, degrading thing I want. Even if means licking the cum out of my ruined fuck hole left by a real man. When BIG BIG Ben gives me the porn star treatment again, well you little fucktard losers need to line up because it will take a few losers to clean up his load!

Topless Car Wash with Glenda: Using My Big Natural Sponges for $$$$

I woke up this morning and discovered that I had somehow overdrawn my bank account. I thought to myself, how can I make some fast cash legally? Then I saw myself in the mirror and was like duh Glenda. Use what God gave you. See I have two very natural big money makers. It was a gorgeous sun shining day and perfect for a topless car wash. I quickly posted an ad on Craigslist: “Hooters girl giving topless car washes for charity today only.” Of course the charity is me. I have a few sprawling acres so some privacy and plenty of room for lots of cars. I put on some daisy dukes and a white wife beater with no bra, gathered up some buckets and sponges and some very pretty smelling soap. When I got outside, I was surprised to see a ton of cars already lined up. This wasn’t my first car wash, but looked like advertising it as topless brought a whole new crowd.

I have natural huge sponges that I use to wash cars with-my special signature wash I call it. I offered $50 car washes to watch me wash a car topless using my tits as sponges and $100 for the deluxe treatment which started with me spraying myself with water like I was in a wet-tee shirt contest and washing cars completely naked. And, for $200 men could watch me masturbate on the hood of their car or truck while washing the car with my ass as I sat on sponges. I’d even wax the car with my tits. I called this my “Rose Royce Car Wash Double Deluxe package.” No surprise most of my customers ordered the DD package. I made almost $3,000 dollars today. Not bad for waking up $75 over drawn. Not gonna lie, some of my customers were very hot and got some special treatment: titty fucking my big natural soapy sponges. Any cum that ended up on the car or truck, either got licked up by me, or buffered off with my ass! I love that fact that guys will spend good money just to gaze at my beautiful big curves.

At the car wash, woooh
Talking about the car wash, yeah
Cum on y’all and sing it for me
Car wash, woh, car wash yeah

(Work and work) Well those boys never seem to stop cumming
(Work and work) Keep those waxin’ machines humming
(Work and work) My titties on your bone
(Work and work) Keep it up, I can’t wait till it’s time to go fucking

Do you need a special double deluxe package today? I can’t seem to stop playing with my pussy and sucking on my titties. Obviously, I need to masturbate some more. Sure those guys got to watch me, but you can always hear me!!!

GILF Phone Sex with Star: I’ve Been Twat Blocked

So today, I was talking with a younger guy I was trying to pick up. He actually told me that MILFS are yesterday’s news. All the rage today is a GLIF: a grandmother I’d love to fuck. I was like, what the fuck? Why would you want some old bitch when you could have me? I’m in my sexual prime and fucking gorgeous. He said GILFS are like a fine wine, they just get better with age. I then said, what is so special about your GILF? He began telling me all about granny Star who he has been banging for years. He went on and on about the joys of being with her. Not gonna lie, my ego took a beating. Let me see if I can remember a few of the million reasons he prefers this old bitch to me.

  • You can’t get her pregnant, so he can bare back her pussy and ass!
  • She’s been sucking cock longer than he has been alive.
  • She has her own money, so she spoils him and picks up the tab. This saves his money for beer.
  • She doesn’t want a relationship.
  • The only game she plays is strip poker.
  • She’s a sure thing.
  • She has taught him things with her decades of sexual experience.
  • She has her own life so she doesn’t need his constant attention.
  • She lets him cum on her tits and face and doesn’t find it degrading.
  • She is confident so they fuck with the lights on and have threesomes.
  • She has no taboos about the ass.
  • Years of yoga has made her very flexible. She can fuck in any position.
  • She is discreet. Happy to be his dirty little secret.
  • She swallows.
  • Age has taught her not to have any hang-ups so she never says no.
  • She grew up in the glory days of porn, so she’ll watch with him and get off too.
  • She only fucks for sexual pleasure, so no need to snuggle or spoon with her or stay the night.
  • She fucks and plays with his ass and knows that doesn’t make him a fag.
  • She understands a thong does not equal lingerie. She has all sorts of sexy outfits for him too to peel off her rock hard body.
  • All she needs to be happy is a hard cock that works. She could care less about size.
  • She doesn’t care about his job or his education level.
  • She doesn’t have a husband.
  • She lets him play with her granddaughters.

Guess older is better. Got to step up my game, because her milkshake brings all the cocks to the block. Wonder if she eats pussy?

Your Voice

Hot phonesexNothing makes this Goddesses pussy twitch more than hearing a sexy male voice on the phone.  My mind starts to form an image of you as soon as that first word is spoken.  I can feel my body heat up in anticipation for what you have in store for us.  Every single time, it is something erotic and intoxicating.  I have the perfect body, and perfect mannerisms about me to make the experience just as wonderful for you as you make it for me.  It is incredible the amount of sexual creativity that all my callers have.  Some are shy, some are more out going, some love to guide the call, others want me to take control.  The scenarios go on and on, there is no limit to what we do and can do with each other.  There are times when the call is so detailed and intense that I lose myself in the words, your voice, the soft sounds of moans of pleasure we both make.  It is true that there is a Heaven on Earth and it is on the phone with you.

Cheap Phone Sex

FuckaliciousFreaks For Less

Do you suffer from LackOfGirlfrienditis?  Do you find yourself reaching out for a tit in the middle of night only to find you have grabbed onto a blow up doll who has lost her air? Or do you suffer from the dreaded BitchForAWifetitus? We here at the FuckaliciousFreaks Institute have spent years perfecting a way in which you can find relief from these bothersome symptoms!

Let one of our Professionals take you through the simple YET highly effective process to elevate; and for a few moments; eradicate the above mentioned ailments.  We here love your cock, we love that you like to stick your engorged dick deep within the darkened entry way of our anal cavity.  You do not even have to knock, just come right in fellas! We love having you slam your cock so far down our throat that you can feel the hot dog we had for lunch.  Still unsure if you should give one of our Highly Perved Out Professionals A Try? Read this testimony:

Caller: …… JELLY!!!

That’s right Gentlemen we phone fucked his brains out!  Now he just drools in the corner screaming JELLY, but oh what an orgasm it was!  A tsunami of cum washed over the room like a….well….tsunami!

Still not certain that we can help you with your problem?  Then, we have a discounted rate, for ALL callers! That’s right, for ALL callers!  You must be 21 years old to use our service, because you will become drunk on our pussy juice, and the legal drinking age is 21, sorry just out of High School boys, you will have to wait!  Here’s a tissue and some lotion to hold you over until you reach the age of 21. How do you take advantage of our special rate? You simply ask at the start of the billing process, it’s that easy.

The time is right, stop suffering needlessly!  Give one of our Professionals a call today! 

Hollywood Heat


I was invited to a Hollywood party last night at this huge beach house. My friend Alesta said this will be way cool, we have to go. The party thrower sent us a limo with a fully stocked bar, so we drank our way there. We pulled up at the house and got out of the limo to see porn star Anita dark walk in the house with two other girls. With wonder we walked in to find Charlie Sheen talking to Alyssa Milano talking about tv projects in their underwear. We then turned and saw Pam Anderson naked, making out with Tommy Lee on a couch. We just looked at each other and said OMG it’s a Hollywood sex festival.

Miley Cyrus was getting fucked by two guys on a pool table and I saw my friend walk away with pro wrestler the Miz. I then felt some one tap me on my shoulder. To my surprise, it was Nicolas Cage. “It looks like your friend left you” he said “yeah” I answered. “she likes the sports guys”. Nick was wearing some cargo shorts and a t-shirt.  When he handed me a glass of red wine, and talked with me, I could tell he was checking me out the whole time as my nipples perked up. Nick made his move and said “would you like to join me in a bedroom?” I smiled, gave him a peck, and said yes. We looked in the first bedroom and saw Mandi Moore and Katy Perry having sex with this married couple. The husband was giving it to his wife while she was eating Mandi’s pussy, and Katy was flying solo.
We the snuck into the next bedroom where we saw Drew Berrymore watching porn, rubbing her body and reaching for a dildo. I said “oh we’re sorry” Drew smiled with naughty intentions and said “oh no come on in.” She slipped me out of my dress, began kissing me, and pulling me into the bed as Nick got undressed, and joined us.

Drew kissed me with passion as Nick rubbed my body all over. It felt so good, and soon I was stroking his hard on as Drew was licking and suckling at my nipples while grinding our love boxes together. I looked into Drew’s eyes and said I want to eat you. She giggled and said “mmmm” ok baby 69 me”. I got on top of her and lowered my pussy to her lips as Nick leaned back and watched. Oh wow this is awesome he said. I licked Drew’s pussy wildly as she did the same to mine as waves of lust hit us full force. I looked up and said you want some Nick? “ oh momma yes I do” he said. I turned around and offered my wet pussy to him. He teased my pussy lips a little and entered me from behind. As my mouth lapped up Drew’s pussy juices. Nick found a great pace and pushed into me deep. Drew slid up and held my ass open and slid a finger inside my rosebud. I moaned and shook with lust as the two stars worked me and an orgasm hit my sexy body so hard. Then Nick plopped me over and rammed his rod in me hard and deep as Drew slid the lubed dildo snug into my ass, sucked my tits and turned it on. Electric pulses went through my body and made me cum in minutes. Nick then pulled out and blew his load all over my body. As Nick left Drew and I kissed and exchanged phone numbers and we walked down the hallway hand in hand naked.

Trade Secrets

Its really simple daddy, you offer your services to me free of charge, and I let you into my sweet wet cum sponge.  You know I’m well worth it. Think of it as us bartering service. Blow jobs are considered a service right? Cause I’m really good at doing those. I’ll suck your cock so fucking good you’ll want to tell your wife about it. And when I get you to the promise land, I will deep throat your missile and let you release your love load down my throat. Doesn’t that sound like a fair trade daddy? Don’t you want to indulge in my juicy pussy all you want? As long as you keep supplying me with what I need, I’ll make sure to be the filthy slut you fantasize about on a daily basis. You have to admit this is one hell of a mutual agreement. I get all the product/service I want and you, well you get a little piece of heaven whenever your little heart desires. Don’t you just love a good bargain? Me too!

Sometimes it is just Destiny

Sometimes things just fall into place. And I do love it when destiny takes over. Yesterday I was hunting, stalking this pretty little thing. She  would be perfect for my needs. My friend loves young and blonde He wants big blue eyes and her to look so innocent and sweet. It is really hard to find the perfect girl. And when I found her I waited all day trying to find the perfect time to snatch her. But it didn’t happen. She was NEVER alone. I finally gave up and headed home. When I passed a broken down car. Someone flagged me down. A beautiful little thing. With blonde hair and big blue eyes. She thanked me over and over. She said at least 10 cars passed her and nobody stopped. She didn’t have a cell signal and was so scared. I promised her I would help her. And I will. I drove her home and told her the phone was in the kitchen. She never made it that far of course. By the time she woke up I had her tied to my work bench and stripped naked. I had already called my friend over and was waiting for him to show up. My pussy is dripping at what I am gonna do to her. How I am going to hurt her. How my friend is going to use her. All before I kill her. It was just Destiny.

Cheap Phone Sex

Cheap Phone Sex is awesome because you can call and live out any fantasy you’d like without breaking the bank.  I get so hot thinking about talking to you, and when you are completely dominating me I so much more excited.  I know when you call me for cheap phone sex our time will be exciting and hot, and when you get off it  is so  fucking sexy I get off too.  Mutual masturbation, Mistress, submissive phone sex is all very exciting for me, and I love all the role play situations you call me for.  When I’m tied up and forced to deep throat your cock my pussy gets so wet, I love the cock worshiping session that has been forced upon me.  It seems that anytime we have cheap phone sex, you always seems to know what I need.  I love telling you about other fantasies and desires I’ve had to see if you will maybe add them to our roster next time, but for now I am just happy with your cock in my mouth.

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