“The Beetches”

When the Dick Loving Beetches had frankfurter roasts
Or orgies or parties or big fancy toasts,
They never invited the Cunt Loving Beetches.
They didn’t invite them to their sworay.
They left them alone with nothing to play.

Then ONE day, when the sky was blue
And the Cunt Loving Beetches had nothing to do
But wish that their Beetches loved dicks too,
A stranger walked up with twinkling eye.
He whipped out his dick and heaved a big sigh!

“My friends,” he said in a thundering voice,
“My name is Big Daddy Dick.
I’ve heard of your troubles. I’ve know of your fears.
I can fix them in a snap. I’m the Fix-it-Up Chap.
I’ve come to help you. I have what you need.
My prices are low. I work at great speed.
My work is one hundred percent guaranteed!”

Quick as a wink Big Daddy Dick
Put up a machine that let out a hum.
He said with a smile, “You want to be Dick Loving Beetches?
For three dollars each I will fix you right up!”

“Just give me your money and step right on in!”
So they lined up quickly with barley a word, they handed him money.
Then the machine vibrated and hummed
And it tickled and teased and herked and it jerked.
It binged and it bopped.
And the thing really worked!
When the Cunt Loving Beetches popped out, they loved dick!
They actually did!

Then they yelled to the others, “We love dick too!
Look at us now, we are exactly like you!
We’re all the same, you Dick Loving Beetches!”

Now the Dick Loving Beetches were very upset.
“We were the first, we are still number one,
It doesn’t matter that now you love dick
But how in the world can we tell you apart?”

Big Daddy Dick had a plan that was slick
He smiled and said, “Things are not so bad.
You don’t know who’s who. Yes that is true.
I can fix this my friends. Do you know what I’ll do?
I’ll change you into Cunt Loving Beetches
All it will cost is ten dollars eaches.”

“Dick Loving Beetches are no longer the rage,” said Big Daddy DIck.
“Step in my machine and take center stage.
Become Cunt Loving Beetches
And re-claim your fame.”

When they came out with noses in air
They believed they solved this affair,
“Now we know us from you.
Dick Loving Beetches you haven’t a clue!”

Now of course the Dick Lovers were sad.
For now loving dick was frightfully bad.
Big Daddy Dick had the solution.
For a small fee he would end revolution.

It went on like this the entire day,
Dick Lovers, Cunt Lovers willing to pay.

In again out again they kept right on going
Until all their money was gone.
No one knew who was who
And finally they knew just what to do
Dick Loving Beetches would learn to love cunt
And Cunt Loving Beetches would learn to love dick
Together they would be both kind of Beetches
Living so happy on the blue beaches.

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