GILF Phone Sex with Star: I’ve Been Twat Blocked

So today, I was talking with a younger guy I was trying to pick up. He actually told me that MILFS are yesterday’s news. All the rage today is a GLIF: a grandmother I’d love to fuck. I was like, what the fuck? Why would you want some old bitch when you could have me? I’m in my sexual prime and fucking gorgeous. He said GILFS are like a fine wine, they just get better with age. I then said, what is so special about your GILF? He began telling me all about granny Star who he has been banging for years. He went on and on about the joys of being with her. Not gonna lie, my ego took a beating. Let me see if I can remember a few of the million reasons he prefers this old bitch to me.

  • You can’t get her pregnant, so he can bare back her pussy and ass!
  • She’s been sucking cock longer than he has been alive.
  • She has her own money, so she spoils him and picks up the tab. This saves his money for beer.
  • She doesn’t want a relationship.
  • The only game she plays is strip poker.
  • She’s a sure thing.
  • She has taught him things with her decades of sexual experience.
  • She has her own life so she doesn’t need his constant attention.
  • She lets him cum on her tits and face and doesn’t find it degrading.
  • She is confident so they fuck with the lights on and have threesomes.
  • She has no taboos about the ass.
  • Years of yoga has made her very flexible. She can fuck in any position.
  • She is discreet. Happy to be his dirty little secret.
  • She swallows.
  • Age has taught her not to have any hang-ups so she never says no.
  • She grew up in the glory days of porn, so she’ll watch with him and get off too.
  • She only fucks for sexual pleasure, so no need to snuggle or spoon with her or stay the night.
  • She fucks and plays with his ass and knows that doesn’t make him a fag.
  • She understands a thong does not equal lingerie. She has all sorts of sexy outfits for him too to peel off her rock hard body.
  • All she needs to be happy is a hard cock that works. She could care less about size.
  • She doesn’t care about his job or his education level.
  • She doesn’t have a husband.
  • She lets him play with her granddaughters.

Guess older is better. Got to step up my game, because her milkshake brings all the cocks to the block. Wonder if she eats pussy?

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