Santa is such a perv! I mean come on, dancer and vixen? We all know what that’s about. I wonder just how he came up with those names. You think Santa and Mrs. Claus were into freaky little reindeer games themselves? I know they are, cooped up all year in the North Pole with nothing to do for three hundred and sixty four nights out of the year. I bet it’s a whole lot we don’t know about Santa. If only reindeer could talk. I know they would have stories for days. The elves too. Nobody is that cheerful. And Santa should be one angry man at Christmas. I know I would be if I had to go through a list of all the good and bad ass little ones and deliver toys in 24hrs all around the world. That is not an ideal job description. The part they don’t tell us is that Mrs. Claus is there too, sucking Santa off at every location to make sure he stays happy, like Merry Christmas Bitches! Mrs. Claus is the perfect definition of GFE! She drinks up all Santa’s egg nog and doesn’t complain one bit! Get out your pens and paper. Mrs. Claus is going to take us to school on how to please and keep our men. Can I show you what she taught me today? It had something to do with my tongue….
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