You hear what you think is the typical funny sounds of people pretending to crank up chain saws and a wolf howling. Laughing it off and convincing your girlfriend it’s all part of the act you wind your way through my terrifying maze. So many turns, left and right and right and left and then a particularly creepy looking scarecrow chases the two of you with a chain saw until you are so lost you don’t know where the entrance is anymore. You had no idea the maze would be this big. Then you see what looks like a very large wolf run ahead and around the corner. Again you convince your girlfriend that it’s all part of the show. That is until you find the body. A young teenage girl, guts ripped out, bite marks and claws all over her body, clothes torn off and legs spread wide. You try to convince yourself it’s a joke then you hear a piercing howl and see a dark shadow. It looks like a woman with a wolf’s head and as she gets closer you notice she’s covered in blood. She’s not alone, the creepy scarecrow is slowly walking behind her.
You and your date haul ass. She’s screaming and you are still coming to terms that this is no game. In the confusion you get separated. Twenty minutes later you hear her scream and run to her. The scene that assails your vision when you find her is this: The scarecrow balls deep in her asshole, her lifeless body bent over a haystack, the she wolf at her neck, ripping the skin open and eating her. The wolf looks up at you with bits of your dead girlfriend in her teeth and smiles. You scream and run for your life. You won’t get far. I will find you. I will eat you and I will devour your soul. There is no escape from the Mother of All Evil. I’m still hungry for the taste of your flesh and my scarecrow wants to combine the juices of your girlfriend with yours. He’s going to violate you too. You better hope that you are dead when that happens.