We Named Ours “Dick”

Everyone is getting the damned Elf on a Shelf and of course the little ones in the family wanted one too. They wanted me to go get the damned thing. They bugged me and bugged me until I gave in and went and got the thing. I decided right then that I was going to name him Dick. I have had more fun with this lame ass elf on the shelf. I would love to be a fly on the wall at their school when they share what our elf is doing. They woke up to Dick jerking off to porn the first day. The look on their faces was priceless. After they went to school I watched porn with Dick and masturbated too. The next day they caught him drinking a bottle of wine, the drunk bastard. After they went to school of course I had to help Dick finish the bottle. My mind was racing and the ideas kept coming. I was actually getting off on this shit. The next day they woke up to Dick snorting coke….oh my fucking goodness this shit is fun! After they left for school I helped Dick finish up the coke. Today they got up and Dick was in the fruit bowl pretending his cock was a huge banana. After they left for school I fucked myself with that fucking banana. I cant wait to see what tomorrow brings! Who knew Dick could be so much fun?

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